Saturday, September 13, 2008



We are very tired, but now we can have some rest.
Half of the safety divers have got an ear infection. The other half got sunburnt to alarming levels.
Stavros' nose is falling off his face.
One is still unusable because of the countdown syndrome, one got a middle ear barotrauma.
Some other got lost on the way. If there was one more competition day, there would not be safety divers left to cover that.

This is me, doing laps in between official tops. The doctor told me at my age i should move a bit to fight the advancing arthritis.

I’m not going to speak about results since I’m sure everybody know them better than me.
But the most amazing news i have today is that i caught Sebastian laughing. Not only: he was laughing reading my blog!! And since i agree that it sounds unbelievable, i took pictures of the event, so i can prove it.
Come on, how many people on the planet can claim they can make Sebastian laugh? Somebody give me a medal.

These last days i noticed people were behaving very strangely with me. They either run away as soon as I approached them, or they were very nice to me (which is not normal, because there's no reason to be nice to me).
I think those are signs of the Blog Syndrome, who affects those that don't want to be mentioned in my blog.
I wonder why.

We collected some data, and we found out that the chance of a BO is bigger if you were diving in line and lane B. I did all my safety in A, and we had no BO in CWT, and as for DYN we had one BO the first day and two on the second day.
Overall, in CWT, there were only 2 BO and 2 heavy sambas, all in line B.
In DYN, 8 BO, 5 of them in lane B.
All in all i only got to rescue 1 diver in 4 diving days! I would have had one more during DYN, but since it was a pretty girl (Liv), Stavros invaded my zone and took her.

Mandy had a BO after the 150m turn.
Russian Alexey came up at 175 and lost it before he realized.
Kiwi Ant keeps trying to make me cry, and got a BO at around 210. I didn't cry, because at the same time i was watching a bad exit on my lane, so i didn't see it happening.
Kiwi Will tried 200, but had a massive samba and messed up the SP.
Even Martin was very close to pass out after less than 160m.
Athletes claim that the hot pool must be blamed for the dodgy exits. Some said they had very late contractions, but then it gets very ugly very quickly and it's already too late.

Hot Johan had a very heavy samba. Being hot in a hot pool doesn't really help i guess.
Is this why most of the hot guys had bad exits?
Anyways, I was next to him ready to take him, and as he was all shaky and trying not to lose it, he looked at me, and immediately snapped back to life.
Now one might think it is a good sign; he saw me, got impressed, and woke up.
But what if instead he woke up when he realized i would have been the one kissing him if he passed out? Which is definitely not a good sign.
However, he got a red card for late SP, and i'm really sorry for him. Even if he doesn't want to kiss me.

The other hottie, Juraj, came up clean after 170. I'm sure he could add an extra 25 mt with no extra effort just by waxing his back thus eliminating some extra resistance. I know waxing is painful, but i'm against shaving: makes the hair horribly thicker, grows back immediately, and it's a real turn off during the romantic moments.
Next year I'll take with me loads of wax, and offer free treatments to the hot single guys. The others will have to pay.

The Italian team was a bit of a shame for the Italian nation, but then came Federico and did a easy 175 with no training whatsoever.
Davidino came up after 100m saying "sorry, but i don't like it!". That was why i suggested he did his DYN holding a speargun, and that we put a big fish on his lane. He could do a WR like that. But they didn't listened to me.
Ilaria, who sometimes doesn't behave very smart, had one of her nonsmart moments when she surfaced.
While she was waiting for the judgment she must have got bored, and decided to take off her fin. Dipping her face.
Dumb syndrome?
Judge for yourself:

Oh sorry, that was the one where she looks smart. The next is the one.

Sofus, after seeing David king walking around with nail polish on his feet, got jealous, and showed up with women shades. Big dark lenses encased in a brown and golden frame. Stylish.

Thank God Weine doesn't have a dick on his back anymore. He must have got back to his senses. Now he behaves very manly again. He screamed like a wrestler before his dive to pump himself up, as he did after, to scare his samba away. It worked.
Weine got very upset with me because i didn't put his picture in the hotties section. So i put one here now, hoping to make him happy. He deserves respect, because he's the only person i know that wants to appear in this blog.

Oh, I almost forgot. Kiwi Dave did another WR. He seemed completely bored as he was standing there on the pool edge waiting for his judgment. Everybody is wondering what secret he's hiding. What did he find out that we didn't, damn it?

Overall i had a very good time. If they take the static out from the next team WC i will apply to be in the safety team again. If not, I'll compete. Or i can apply to go there as the official reporter, if somebody want to sponsor me.

Strangely enough I'm still single. But luckily i didn't lose any member of the Spinsters Team. I post another picture of the team here, and maybe somebody will volunteer to take one (or more) of us out of spinsterhood.

I suggest on the next edition the organizer provides extra medals. For the hottest guy, for the dumbest freediver, for the funniest samba, for the best freediving tan. And I want to be the judge.

About Judges, here pics of the evil lot.

Judge Bill. He's pretty evil, but if you are a girl with a pretty bum, let him squeeze it, and you'll buy yourself a white card.

Judge Grant. Try corrupt him with a doughnut.

Judge Kimmo. Incorruptible.

Judge Marcello. I don't know him very well, but being originally from southern Italy there must be several ways to buy his "protection".

Judge Susan. She's nice, and seems very straight. But being Dutch you can try bribe her with good pot.

Last but not least, Ute. She is very German, and definitely not corruptible.

As for the real gossip, like who slept with who, and who got embarrassingly shitfaced during the party, you can request them by mail at this address:
Charge is 5 euro a piece.

Thanks God this is over, because i don't have any friends left to lose :-)


noname said...

ok, linda i have wired 30 euros to your account. 25 for all the essential gossip and 5 as a bonus for the unbelievable feat of making sebastian (sort of) laugh.
i am expecting a fully updated mail within the week (i only give you a week cos i know you are a bit busy these days, if you catch my drift).

Richard Wonka said...

Linda, 5 Euros for not mentioning me in the "embarassingly drunk" section.

Richard Wonka said...

Oh, no! I spilled the beans, didn't I...